Saturday, May 29, 2010

I heart NY

I wore my very first I heart New York shirt today. And, today, I meant it. I heart New York--for what I gained with our time here. (Gasp!)

I learned that I can trust the Lord. He said this is where we needed to be. He said that he would help us through. He said that our family would be safe.

(I'm saying I trust the Lord--this with no job or finite plan for our family, looming student loans, and general fear and anxiety. I really did learn this lesson, and I'm currently applying it.)

Want to know a secret, New York wasn't the hardest part of  my life thus far. Sure, life is pretty hard in New York with small children, a one room apartment, mice infestation, anxiety attacks on buses and lost in a dark central park, crazy husband hours, no car, quiting my job, shoddy healthcare, a miscarriagegetting trapped in an elevator 9 months pregnant, a baby, having no elevator, having columbia sized student loans and no job, etc. My life here in New York was not without challenge, fear inducing, emotionally overwhelming events, and discomfort. Life in New York was hard, but I wasn't alone in the hard. With every challenge that I faced here in New York I had someone help me through it.

My time in New York introduced me to Zion. If you know the Morningside Heights Ward (and let's face it half of you do), you understand that this is not an overstatement. Our ward is full of love, support, service, genuine kindness, concern, and awareness. In no other place have I felt this coming from so many people. And in no other place have I been as motivated to strive for it in myself. Everywhere you can find one or two people who typify Zion, but this ward has an over abundance of those people.

I am terrified to leave my New York friends.

Can you believe it? I know, neither can I. First, because I'm an introvert, so typically I only have one or two really good friends, but here I have several, and I'm afraid that I will want that again. Second, because where am I ever going to find so many talented, interesting, charitable, strong friends. Third, blogging is the extent of my keeping-in-touch abilities.

I remember being told that New York would grow on me. And it did, but only because I found Zion here. I still hate Times Square. I still think dog's shouldn't be forced to live here. I still think too many people live on this island. I won't go to central park alone after noon. I still hate relying on public transportation, having to carry everything you need for the day. I still hate pushing groceries home. I remember struggling to trust that the Lord knew best when he sent us here. And I found that trust, but only because I found Zion here. I remember people reminding us of some prophecy of New York sinking in to the ocean, and I believe it is a long way off from that because I found Zion here.

So friends, thank you for making New York so wonderful, and helping me to learn the most important lesson one can learn. The Lord never lies. The Lord doesn't tease. The Lord provides a way to strengthen you for every challenge that you face. Oh, He won't take the challenge away, don't think I'm saying that, but He will help you bare it. And, if it is only through inspiring people to take care of you, He still does it.

Look at me, I'm the King of New York. I made it here, I'll make it anywhere.

(Well, we have 8 days to go, so I'll knock on wood).

Now, please excuse a blog hiatus while we pack. I'm gonna have to turn off the computer so I'm not tempted to delay the inevitable. I'll be back in a week or so.


emilysuze said...

I love the picture of the four of you in your adorable shirts.

I'm so glad that New York became such a wonderful part of your life. You're my inspiration.

Good luck packing and moving and all the stuff that goes along with that.

Sandy M. said...

Was that Brecken Cook who just wrote the she loves New York!?!
I'm not even surprised.
You look fabulous in the t-shirts; it's a beautiful family pic.
Happy Hiatus Brecken! We'll be thinking of you all!


Jonathan John said...

Hi Brecken,

I am sorry to hear you guys are moving away. I know we only got to meet a few times either at the Cowleys or various Columbia film events, but I always enjoy hearing how you guys are doing and reading your blog. I find your post incredibly moving today as I become a new mom in NYC which is kind of scary. I also know Jonathan will miss working with Justin, and I think he will try to stay in touch with him. We wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors.

-Kelly John

Lisa Brown said...

You made it through some crazy things, that is for sure. Can I ask a favor? I would love it if you could make a list of your favorite things to do in New York, so someday when I actually get to go play there, I have the inside scoop :).

Mindy said...

Meet you in MN sometime. I'm glad you not only made it, you were strengthened by it.

Kate said...

I am so sad to see you go!! These past 3 years have gone by so incredibly quickly! I hope you realize how much you and your fabulous little family will be missed...the MSH Ward will not be the same without you. I'm just sure we'll see more of each other down the road, but until then, we're really going to miss you guys!

di said...

Brecken!! I *love* you and your wonderful family. We are going to miss you guys! You are *so* right about our awesome ward - in 10 years I have never experienced a family ward like this one. Thank you for being so kind to us. We're cheering you on in all the great adventures for your future. xo di :)