Sunday, January 2, 2011

Offense Fail

As you choose not to be offended or ashamed, you will feel His love and approval. You will know that you are becoming more like Him. Elder Neil L. Anderson

I was reading General Conference talks today. I read the above, and decided that I would try it. With my husband leaving this week, with no definite plan for reuniting, I could use a little feeling of "His love and approval." And to tell you the truth, I almost always come home from church with something bugging me. This will only be shocking to those of you who only kind of know me. So, I decided I would try today.

I was doing pretty good I made it through three hours and 10 minutes, and then standing in the hallway someone said something, and I took offense. I won't try to defend myself, because that would give you too many clues and you could probably figure out what was said, and who said it. (well, not all of you, just those that weren't surprised that I come home bugged.)

At first, it was just a little offense, a little "She should have known better than to say that to me." As the afternoon progressed into evening my little offense has grown, opening up feelings related to the comment that have gone unresolved for the last 15 years.

And that is why I told Reuben at dinner that "If you don't have a testimony there isn't any other reason to go to church." Which, in my defense, is true and I believe that whole heartedly. We should be going to church because we have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and not for any other superficial reason. I then tried to make it clear that that is why it is important to have a testimony because it is important to go to church.

And, then I knew what Elder Anderson said was true. So, while I fail at not-taking-offense, my testimony is strong enough that I will come back even though I took offense. And for now, I feel pretty darn good about that. And just for y'all who think I'm heathenish for being content with my sinning-- I promise to try again next week not to take offense.


talyn said...

Possibly one of the best parts of moving every couple of years is that one is rarely in contact with people that can stumble into staying something that will dredge up 15 years worth of unresolved gunk.

I don't take offense very easily, however I think that's the main contributing factor to the fact that I say offensive things far too often. I'm too dense to realize they are offensive.

I'm glad your feelings of testimony are stronger than your feelings of hurt.

I love you.


sallysue said...

You've articulated quite well something that I've felt for quite a while. It's a darn good thing I have a testimony. And for each of us, there are different measures of success. And each day's successes are different. Sometimes I'm proud of myself for even getting out of bed. Something I haven't been too successful with this past week....
Best of luck. (Oh, and I'm really good at beating people up, so if you need me to take somene out, I'm here for ya....)

Cary said...

I think you'd make a good military wife, Talyn :-) And while I agree with your observation about moving, I've also realized in the past 7 years of my moving 23 times that even though you may not be offended by the same people, you soon realize that you're still offended, which means that perhaps it's not other people ... but you that needs to change. At least in my case :-) That is both a horrible and yet truly exhilarating realization because then you also realize that that means it's in your power and nobody else's to change everything - and that's a wonderful feeling.

Happy New Year you awesome Reasor girls! Thanks for putting up with me all of these years - I know I haven't been a walk in the park :-)

talyn said...

I'm thinking moving is one of the least hard things of being a military wife. I'm pretty glad I don't have to put up with the rest, like my husband going away with no firm plans of reuniting.

Thanks for putting up with me too, Carolyn. I'm the one saying offensive things all the time. :)

Justin said...

I love you Breck--and I am grateful for your testimony!

In case anyone may have misinterpreted the "husband leaving with no definite plan of reuniting" part, I am going to UT this week to see about some job opportunities, and don't know how long it will take.

As soon as I have found some gainful employment and found a place for the family to live there will DEFINITELY be a reunion.

Tammy Lorna said...

Oh Justin, I'm so glad you cleared that up!


And Brecken - You're not nearly as heathenish as you think. But if you like, just email me their name and e-mail address and I'll start spamming them from here... :)

I love you, and am grateful for both our testimonies :)

xo Tammy

PS. I've got a good feeling about Justin's ''move'.... Won't be long now, I'm sure of it.

The Jones :) said... are amazing...thank you for your honesty and thoughts. I really appreciate them...even if no one else does. You are a great person...and all of us take offense at times...but not all of us will admit how hard it is to good job!!
As for me...personally I really hope Justin finds something out here...cuz I'd LOVE to have you guys close again so we can play!!! Good luck...and if he needs a night to visit someone...we're just in Orem!!!
And I admire you for sticking it out and keeping that testimony strong living "back home"'s hard to go there at times for me and realize things haven't really changed in 15 years...
Love you lots Phatty!!

Twinmomwv said...

Can I give this post an Amen? AMEN! it drives me nuts when people stop coming to church because someone offended them. When did we turn into a bunch of people who need to be coddled all the time? Yes, there are things said at church sometimes that bug me, but I'm not there for the other people. I'm there because I believe the Gospel of
Jesus Christ is true. Also because I accepted a calling and think that that means you should fulfill it.