Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"Don't ever change your occupation."

On Friday I saw a new doctor during my appointment. He was asking the usual questions, and came to "What is your occupation?" First of all, I like that phrasing better than "What do you do?" My job was never a defining factor, so I was always tempted to answer with things I did instead of naming my job.

Anyway, I answered, "I'm a stay-at-home-mom." He looked up from my chart, and leaned over to me, "Don't ever change your occupation."

I was a little surprised. One, because I usually say "I teach early childhood music and movement classes," but I'm not right now, so it was the first time I really claimed being a SAHM. And, also I've never seen such emphatic support for stay-at-home-momming from a non-stay-at-home-mom. (He was just a few years older than me, so don't invision an old guy.)

I said, "We decided we needed to make the sacrifices, which are many, so I could become a SAHM." He said, "They will be worth it."

So, while I am sad that Reuben is the only one in his group of friends without rubber boots and a cute rain jacket, and wish I could buy him some swimming trunks that wouldn't make his little hips red from being just a little too small, and I wish I had some comfortable shoes, and three more maternity shirts, and a new DVD player instead of watching dvds on the computer, and a zip car membership (or extra money to do all of our grocery shopping through freshdirect.) And money to go to Washington DC again, or maybe Boston, or Philidelphia, or rent a car and go to Salem, or fly Justin to Minnesota when we go... I digress.

I am aware of the changes that my occupation decision has made in our life. Its just been a little over a year, and I don't miss the extra stress, the guilt of ignoring my child for hours on end, the solitary existance of not having time to do things with friends, the extra stress. I do miss the insurance, and the wiggle room money. I'm pretty sure Reuben doesn't miss any of it, and I didn't need a doctor to tell me that the sacrifices would pay off, but it was nice hear.

And I won't change my occupation for several years, but I don't want to be a housewife, so once the children are out so am I.

12 comments:

Rachel said...

I love your new doctor.

The Jones :) said...

I agree with you...there are things I miss too about working and the extra money...but nothing is better then seeing these cute things kids do!! Even on the "hard" days I suppose...enjoy your new doctor!!

Justin said...

I love the last sentence. :)

Talyn said...

Even in Mormonville an understanding of the sacrifices involved in SAHMing seems few and far between. I get less scorn than I would someplace else, but a whole lot more, "I see, you're lucky" than I would like. I am blessed, but it's not based on chance. It's based sacrifice and belssings. I'm so happy you found a moment of outside praise.

Michael and Natalie said...

My OBGYN said the exact same thing to me about staying at home. In fact, he looked at me and also said, "I wish my girlfriend felt the same way as you. If she did then we could get married and have kids. All we have now is a cat." He was in his mid thirties.

Lark said...

"ETERNAL HOMEMAKER"

emilysuze said...

That is an awesome doctor to have. :)

Rachel said...

What a great doctor!

Tammy Lorna said...

Yay for you Brecken :) And yay for your doctor. I get caught up thinking that there's no one else 'out there' who has our view on morals and family life... but every now and again, I find one! It really should stop suprising me :) I recently spoke to a politician who said the same thing your doctor did (although, not to me!). He and his wife made the same decision you have, because they believe in the benefits. And it made me really happy to realize that there are others out there, and that we're not so alone in standing up against such huge tides of opposite opinions!

I think it gets summed up in your 'Reuben doesn't miss the other things at all' comment.

xo Tammy

Sandy M. said...

I am a huge fan of the SAHM :)

Christina said...

Hi Brecken, I know we've never met but I grew up with Justin and I love following your blog. I too am a SAHM for just over a year now. I totally understand the sacrafices. When I was working I could get Izzy that cute little dress or take them to McDonald's when I felt they deserved it. Now it's you get to play in the sprinkler if your good and mommy will try to make you a dress! In the end I know too it will be worth it. I'm already reaping the benefits of watching all three of them grow! :) God bless you and your gorgeous family! :)

Heidi said...

Amen!!! It is a big decision, but one that is worth it in the end! I agree, though it is very nice to hear it again (we went through all those choices last year) then reaffirm the sacrifices are worth it. :) Good job.