Sunday, May 17, 2009

Pregnant Mom

When I kept not being pregnant, especially after the miscarriage, I couldn't read the pregnant mom posts, not even for those pregnant mom's I knew and loved. So, I'm not offended if you have to skip this one.

We had another ultrasound this week. Our 18 week ultrasound required a follow-up on his heart and lips (because he wasn't big enough), then the 20 week follow-up ultrasound required a follow-up on his heart (because he was hiding it) and growth (he seemed to be too big for what he was supposed to be), the the Fetal Echo at 22 weeks showed that his heart has little risk of anything wrong with it, and so that left growth. He's fine, but I'm expecting a baby the same size as Reuben, if not bigger.

He had his hand covering his face almost the whole time. His little hand, with is little fingers, covering his little upturned nose.

Reuben will tell you that "Mommy has a baby in her tummy, and Reuben has a baby in his tummy." I've been trying to tell him that only mommy has the baby in the tummy, mommy will share, but he's not accepting it. He's okay with the brother idea. He asks me regularly if Simeon is crying in my tummy. He tells me that "baby's don't talk, so Simeon won't talk." He plans to read books to the baby, and color with him. He wraps himself up in a blanket and asks me to hold him like a baby, he asks me to sing to him. I hold him and rock him and sing to him. I look at him and try to figure out if I will be able to hold and rock and sing to both.

Simeon was agitated by the loudness of Star Trek, trying everything he could to kick and punch his way back to his normal quiet surroundings. I enjoyed it, knowing he was safe, but feeling his presence non-stop for 2 hours.

So, its coming. Each week I allow him to become more real. I think about him a little more, but my favorite is to share those thoughts with Reuben. And, I'm sure once Justin is FINALLY done with is screen play, I'll enjoy sharing those thoughts with him too.


Sandy M. said...

I read some comments in 'Baby and Child' many years ago that have stood me in good stead and still make me smile. Perhaps you know this already, but in case not, here goes: Referring to the way mothers often prepare older siblings for a new baby, you can imagine how it would feel for us to be told by our husbands - 'Honey, this is so exciting - we're going to be getting a new wife!!! She'll be our wife! We'll take care of her together, and we'll both love her so much..!! We're so blessed to have her! We're going to give her the place where you loved to sleep...'
Yup. :)
Instead, the author suggested ways to key into the feelings of said older siblings, such as, (when caught by the baby crying while you are reading to your older child:
"oh dear! (sounding put out) I was enjoying being with you, but now the baby's crying! What shall we do? (disappointed, reluctant sigh)..."
(child, dragging Mother): "We better see if he/she is ok Mummy.."
(This really worked for me)
The author also suggested that since the baby has no idea what you are saying and is only listening to your tone, you can talk to your older child while holding the baby and they are both going to be happy.
(Un-called-for advice it's true, but perhaps helpful too :)

Kimberlee said...

We wish you the best with this new little baby...I'm so sorry to find out about your miscarriage. It took us two years to get pregnant with Molly, so I know a little of the feelings of frustration, though I never miscarried. Now I feel like I'm getting to that point again. But we're still excited for you guys!

Kirstin said...

Troubles with getting pregnant, I'm sure, can bring on a lot of hesitancies in expected mothers. I can only imagine my reluctancy to rely on something working when the last time we tried it, it didn't. I think it's got to be nice to be able to have more ultrasounds to continue to give you the peace that "yes, he is still healthy and is still progressing." Good luck with your progress.

emily kate said...

Congratulations on the pregnancy. :)