Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Coming Home

On our walks home Reuben has taken to saying, "I'm sad because I can't see our home." Every time we get to our block he shouts "Oh! Its my favorite place" which is the ramp three buildings away from our building. He lets go of my hand to run up the ramp by the big glass doors, and back down the three stairs between the columns. He then yells, "Oh! I see our home!" Depending on his energy he will run ahead, or hold my hand and tell me how much he likes our home. "Do you see it mom? Our home? I thought we would never get here. Is daddy there? What are going to have for lunch? I like our home. Oh, look the new lights. Don't push the (elevator) button, its not a race, I will push it."

Its the same thing every time. A complaint that he can't see our home, and huge excitement when he finally does. It makes me think the obvious--I hope he always feels this way about our home. It makes me think the next obvious--I hope he feels that way about every home he ever has.

It also makes me think that I should try harder to think of this place as home. I haven't started my count-down to moving (partly because its still a ways away, partly because we don't have a firm out, and partly because we have no clue what is next--it could be harder than New York!) But I've done a very good job of thinking of this place as a short stop on our way to home, like Reuben's favorite place, I'll admit I like it, and enjoy what it has to offer but be overly aware that it is not the destination. Its why those "enjoy the journey" talks aren't my favorite, because it doesn't come naturally to me, its actually a lot of work for me, I'd rather "work hard through the journey" so, the result will be as good as I have imagined.


Sandy M. said...

Brecken, it's so wonderful that Reuben loves your home so much! I remember when we were in our new home and Bethy (at about Reuben's age) hated it! We'd drive past old, falling-down matchboxes and she would grumble, "I like that house - I want to live there - why do we have such an ugly house!" (about our new dream home mind you). It only just occurred to me (15 years late!) that perhaps she just hated the change! She still hates change. (She loves our house now :) I wonder if you will like NY more in retrospect?

Heidi said...

That is so sweet, I love his enthusiasm for Home and also want to relate to that idea much more. Its hard to leave my home and I really enjoyed your post to help me prepare for my adopting NYC as a new home soon. :) Good luck with your continued positive attitude for all that adventure there! :)

Tammy Lorna said...

I love the story, and I love the photo.

And I get the 'work hard through the journey' thing, I really do! I think that's part of the reason I struggle so much with not being married - it makes everyday feel like I'm stuck in some weird halfway point waiting for life to start! :) Meanwhile, of course, life is happening to me whether I realize it or not!

I'm so glad you're enjoying things in NY though :)

xo Tammy