Make sure that your umbrella is upside down

I am extremely sad about our computer situation, and the fact that it only lasted us a year--like they put a bomb in it so we would have to buy a new one or something. We will get the information off, and have someone to help us do that, now the sadness is using my 7 year old Dell, and loosing the ability to use our Adobe programs, because the Dell is too slow, that means no more photo shop which I finally feel confident using, and no more justin-able-to-edit-at-home.

But, while I was sad about that, today I was feeling a different kind of downpour.

The program rehearsal was chaotic, I couldn't help but feel the children's love. The sweet Sunbeams and their desire to tell me everything they can think of, and the "kidding around" the Valiant girls do, and the reluctant attention of the Valiant boys (who light up as soon as I throw my attention their way.) I never imagined I would enjoy being called "Sister Cook," or "Sister Reasor" lest anyone think it is the last name I dreaded, but I love to hear their sweet voices telling me they know me and have something to share. There is one little boy who shouts "Sister Cook" as soon as he sees me...every time he sees me, and I love it because it makes me think he loves me.

The Halloween party was a success. It seemed to me that everyone enjoyed it, and I know Justin and Reuben were in heaven. Seeing Reuben go from booth to booth with a big smile on his face made me so happy. We'd ask him what he wanted to do next and he would tell us. He wasn't so into waiting in lines if he didn't know what the line was going to earn him, but he tried everything at least once, and had a few favorites that he went back to. Seeing all the ward members there who spent their saturday afternoon working a booth for a Halloween party mostly for kids made my heart swell. We didn't even have food there for them, they came all for a chance to dress up and help the children have a nice time. Anyone who is willing to show love to my son makes me feel loved, I'm glad my son is so lovable because I get to feel that love a lot.

We ended with a little dance party, it was mostly the almost 3 year olds dancing with me and a few other mom's at first until we made it look fun enough for more people to join. I find it interesting that sometimes all you need to do to have fun at a dance is hold hands and walk back and forth (even at two years old.) The fact that Reuben would let go of my hand so we could make our circle bigger made me feel loved. It was like he knew we need to include those couple of children who wanted in but couldn't find the space, and he was willing to make that happen.

I am married to the Halloween king of the world, he had a wonderful costume and had even the two year olds enthralled during his story telling. (I have pictures... will load them once we are moved.) I felt loved that he is always willing to do the things that I'm not comfortable with, and include me in the instant popularity that results. When he does all the work creating his Halloween character, I get at least half of the compliments. And when he puts on a show, I become that cool too. I'm glad he attracts friends to us, because that is one thing I can't do, that makes me feel loved.

We got home and Justin let me lay down for a while, and I felt more love. I think we might make it out of our current apartment in time. We have the living room packed, and the bedroom packed, and the bathroom mostly packed. That just leaves the kitchen and the closets (thats the nice thing about 550 square feet, you can't fit much junk in it. We can do the kitchen tomorrow night, and I can throw our clothes into bags when Justin is at school on Tuesday. Justin has sacrificed much sleep to get us to this point, and that makes me feel loved. Reuben has been obedient every time I told him to "leave that in the box," and that makes me feel loved. And, he is perfectly fine with just his bear, because when he gets bored he asks me to cuddle him and tell him stories, which is my favorite kind of break. He examines my hands, and when he finds a red spot, he asks what happened, and after I tell him he says, "Oh, I'm sorry to do that" and kisses it better. I don't think he thinks he did it, I think that is just how he says, sorry that happened.

Our super keeps warning us that the elevator will cause us problems when we live on the 6th floor. It will, especially if its not working on monday and tuesday, and on any of the musikgarten days. He warned us that they will be replacing it soon, which will mean no elevator for 2 months (which will be bad for musikgarten) so, hopefully it won't happen until this May. So far the elevator is the only down side I can think of. I can't wait to get out from under the scaffolding (it only covers the first floor) to have sun during the day, and dark during the night, away from the lobby door, and EVERY single person who comes into the building, away from the sidewalk and all the middle of the night yellers (I'm sure we'll still hear them, but they won't be three feet away.) I can't wait to have a room for Reuben, so he can go to sleep at night and I can watch my prime-time addictions without keeping him up until 10, or 11 on Eli Stone's night. Thinking about how life will be next week makes me feel loved, I recognize it as a huge blessing, and am so glad that we were given a two bedroom.

I did take some midol today, but I don't think that makes me feel extra loved, or helps me recognize blessings, but if it does I think I might look forward to the weeks where I need to take it--instead of being sad that once again, we don't have a bun in the oven.